i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
