y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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