Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
