Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
