Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
