also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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