Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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