wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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