I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm going to jail i love you
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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