billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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