your thong is hanging out like whoa
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
