glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
