Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize