I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
