Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
