neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
