Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
