It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
