I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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