Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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