And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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