what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize