is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
