At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
