after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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