my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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