I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
