She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I love you. Go after that dick
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
