A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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