sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
