their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
