Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
