thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
