Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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