I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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