Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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