i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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