I'm drive I can fine osifer
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
