A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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