Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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