You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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