It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize