O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
