worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
