pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
