we have officially lost it.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
