Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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