Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
