maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
