just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
