thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
