I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize