We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
