remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
how does that bad decision feel?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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