your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just gargled with NyQuil
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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