dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize