maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just want nice things and good sex
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
