you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
