i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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