Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize