I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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