dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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