GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you win again, gameday.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
