He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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